“Everybody wants a rock to wind a piece of string around.”

I’m not sure if I can even tell the difference between pointless nostalgia and meaningful nostalgia anymore.

A conversation with my husband last night led me to listening to They Might Be Giants’ 1990 album Flood while I was working out this morning. Despite not having listened to it in years, I still knew nearly every word. I was hit hard by the nostalgia stick.

Screenshot 2017-04-21 at 11.10.43

I swear I don’t remember that this is what the cover of my cassette tape looked like.

I don’t really know how popular TMBG were? I think a lot of kids at the time knew them because two of their songs, Istanbul and Particle Man,were featured on Tiny Toons. But I was thirteen when Flood was released and I don’t really remember other thirteen year olds going crazy for them the same way they did, say, Paula Abdul. (No judgment on the other thirteen year olds; I went EQUALLY crazy for TMGB and Paula Abdul.)

So how was it listening to Flood as an almost-40 year old? (Yes, yes. My 40th birthday is next week). I’m here to tell you that it was fantastic. Flood is one of those things where your memory of it actually holds up. It’s even better than I remembered. In fact, when I was thirteen, I think I just like the goofy lyrics. I still like the goofy lyrics, but as an old lady I appreciate them in a different way. And I also appreciate how eclectic the music really is. They hit everything from a slight country-western twang on Lucky Ball & Chain, to odd sound-sampling in Minimum Wage, to the horn riff in Whistling in the Dark.

And while the lyrics to Your Racist Friend might seem a little on the nose (they aren’t meant to be subtle, y’all), who could have guessed that a B-side track on a 1990 album from a moderately successful band would be so fucking RELEVANT in 2017?

This is where the party ends
I can’t stand here listening to you
And your racist friend
I know politics bore you
But I feel like a hypocrite talking to you
And your racist friend
It was the loveliest party that I’ve ever attended
If anything was broken I’m sure it could be mended
My head can’t tolerate this bobbing and pretending
Listen to some bullet-head and the madness that he’s saying
This is where the party ends
I’ll just sit here wondering how you
Can stand by your racist friend
I know politics bore you
But I feel like a hypocrite talking to you
You and your racist friend
Out from the kitchen to the bedroom to the hallway
Your friend apologizes, he couldn’t see it my way
He let the contents of the bottle do the thinking
Can’t shake the devil’s hand and say you’re only kidding
This is where the party ends
I can’t stand here listening to you
And your racist friend
I know politics bore you
But I feel like a hypocrite talking to you
And your racist friend

^^^The 2017 Political and Social Media Anthem, right there.

Posted in General nostalgia, Music, non-book review, Uncategorized | Tagged , , , | 1 Comment

"I fit in fine back where I belong…" or Up Country

Classic Post time!
I was just going through some of my older posts and I came across this one. Reblogging because I completely loved this book as a teenager.

Are You There Youth? It's Me, Nikki

Can we start off talking about this cover art?Poor Carl is sitting there, in the snow, all alone.He does have that magnificent head of hair.Did I love him a little bit when I was 15?Indeed I did.Plus when I read the book, I got those sick pathological adolescent girl-thoughts. Ohhhh.Poor Carl, I’ll take care of you.Because that’s real healthy.

Oh, and also when I was looking for this image, I found another one. Which I like a lot better and which 15 year old me would have also like a whole lot better…. if you know what I mean.

Thanks to Goodreads for both images!!!!

So…Carl Staggers is sixteen years old.He lives in Milwaukee with his single mother who is a drunken whore.She’s constantly bringing home classy guys and says she’s going to make them Carl’s new daddy.(One particular guy’s…

View original post 1,325 more words

Posted in Uncategorized | Leave a comment

Books Read 2016

2016 blew. But I managed to read fifty-one books. I read a lot of good things, but very few things that absolutely blew me away. On the other hand, I only read one book that I absolutely loathed, so that’s not so bad!

Everything bolded means I’d recommend it.

1. Among Others; Jo Walton
2. Ms. Marvel Vol 1; G. Willow Wilson, et al
3. Ms. Marvel Vol 2; G. Willow Wilson, et al
4. Check, Please, Year One; Ngozi Ukazu
5. Navel Gazing; Michael Ian Black
6. A Monster Calls; Patrick Ness
7. Jessica Jones: Alias Vol 1; Brian Michael Bendis
8. Jessica Jones: Alias Vol 2; Brian Michael Bendis
9. The Goldfinch; Donna Tartt
10. A Girl from Yamhill; Beverly Cleary
11. Turnbull House; Jess Faraday
12. Everything I Never Told You; Celeste Ng
14. Jessica Jones: Alias Vol 4; Brian Michael Bendis
15. Mosquitoland; David Arnold
16. Purity; Jonathan Franzen (DNF)
17. House of Robots; James Patterson (read to kids)
18. If I Stay; Gayle Forman
19. The Complete Jessica Jones: The Pulse; Brian Michael Bendis
20. I Know I am But What Are You?; Samantha Bee
21. The Foxhole Court; Nora Sakavic
22. King George; What was His Problem?; Steve Shinekin
23. The Raven King; Nora Sakavic
24. Kindred Spirits; Rainbow Rowell
25. Two Miserable Presidents; Steve Sheinkin
26. The Girls; Emma Cline
27. Roller Girl: Victoria Jamieson
28. Ms. Marvel Vol. 5; G. Willow Wilson, et al
29. Openly Straight; Bill Konigsburg
30. The House of Secrets; Brad Meltzer
31. The Luckiest Girl; Beverly Cleary*
32. DC Trip; Sara Benincasa
33. Harry Potter and the Cursed Child; JK Rowling
34. The Notorious Benedict Arnold; Steve Sheinkin
35. A Spool of Blue Thread; Anne Tyler
36. Atlanta Burns; Chuck Wendig
37. Fun Home; Alison Bechdel
38. The Graveyard Book; Neil Gaiman
39. Ghosts; Raina Telgemeier
40. Presto!; Penn Jillette
41. Black Panther #1; Ta-Nehisi Coates, et al
42. Today Will Be Different; Maria Semple
43. Hellcat! Vol 1; Katie Leth, et al
44. The Girl on the Train; Paula Hawkins
45. All the Bright Places; Jennifer Niven
46. Took: A Ghost Story; Mary Downing Hahn
47. The Runaways; Brian Vaughan
48. The All-New Archie Vol. 1; Mark Waid
49. I’ll Give You the Sun; Jandy Nelson
50. iZombie Vol. 1; Chris Roberson, et al
51. iZombie Vol. 2; Chris Roberson, et al

Best Book of 2016
The Goldfinch by Donna Tartt

Worst Book of 2016
Purity by Jonathan Franzen. I couldn’t even finish it.

Most Disappointing Book of 2016
The Foxhole Court series by Nora Sakavic. So many people I know absolutely RAVED about these books. There were things I liked about the series, but it had sooo many problems.

Most Surprising (in a good way) Book of 2016
The Notorious Benedict Arnold by Steve Sheinkin. History can be fascinating when it’s well-written.

Book You Recommended to People Most in 2016
Check Please. Check it out here for free.

Best Series You Discovered in 2016
Ms. Marvel by G. Willow Wilson

Favourite New Authors You Discovered in 2016
Steve Sheinkin

Most Hilarious Read of 2016
Navel Gazing by Michael Ian Black

Most Thrilling, Unputdownable Book in 2016
The Girls by Emma Cline

Book You Most Anticipated in 2016
Harry Potter and the Cursed Child, obviously. I didn’t totally hate it, but it was pretty disappointing.

Favourite Cover of a Book You Read in 2016


Most Memorable Character in 2016
Jessica Jones

Beautifully Written Book in 2016
I’ll Give You the Sun by Jandy Nelson

Book That Had the Greatest Impact on You in 2016
Check Please.  It impacted me in that I’ve spent a LOT of hours reading fanfiction.

Book You Can’t Believe You Waited Until 2016 to Finally Read
Fun Home by Alison Bechdel. I’ve heard great things about it for YEARS, before finally picking it up this year. And I’m so glad I did!

Posted in Uncategorized | 3 Comments

“Do you hear noises at night?” or, Took

Screenshot 2016-11-23 at 19.05.24.png

I didn’t realize that Mary Downing Hahn is still writing and publishing books! In my mind, her books firmly belong in the 1980’s and 90’s. So imagine my surprise when I saw this book at my kids’ Scholastic Book Fair this year. I had to buy it. (For myself. Neither of my kids loves scary things).

I’ve reviewed several MDH books over the years on this blog, and if you’re a regular reader you’ll know she was one of my favorite authors growing up. I was all ready to not like this book because it didn’t have the nostalgia factor for me, but you know what? I actually loved it. It was a perfect read for anyone who loved Wait Til Helen Comes, which seems to be everyone’s MDH favorite.

The book starts out on a creepy note. An old woman watching from a hilltop as a new family moves into an old farmhouse. The old woman has a special interest in the little girl in the family, and tells her companion that their plans are coming to fruition. (Her companion squeals and snorts in response, which is creepy in its own right).

Except for a few brief interludes by the old woman, Auntie, as she’s called, this book is told from the point of view of seventh grader, Daniel. Daniel and his family are moving from Fairfield, Connecticut to Woodville, West Virginia. Daniel has a little sister, Erica, who is in second grade. They used to be rich. Their father had a big corporate job, but lost it with the recession. First the family downgraded (no more private school, only one car, etc) but when his dad couldn’t find work in Connecticut, the parents decided to move to rural Woodville, West Virginia where the living is cheap.

Things aren’t easy for the family after moving. The people in the town dislike them, particularly the school children, because they still wear rich-kid clothes. The dad has trouble finding a job, but eventually finds work at the Home Depot. Mostly though, Erica starts exhibiting some odd behavior. She stops talking to the family and communicates mostly with her doll, plus she claims the wind is calling her name at night.

Mom and Dad are so worried about the state of the old farmhouse and their money issues, that they don’t seem to be as concerned about Erica as Daniel thinks they should be. And Daniel is very worried. Especially after a boy who lives near them tells them a story of Auntie, a conjure woman, who lived up on the hill in the woods behind Daniel’s house who kidnaps a little girl every fifty years. Fifty years ago, the little girl, Selene, who lived in their house, was ‘took,’ as the locals say. This woman has a companion called Bloody Bones, the skeleton of a bipedal wild boar who does Auntie’s killing for her.

Daniel catches Erica wandering off into the woods and tries to get her to come home. They fight and Erica runs off, too fast for Daniel, dropping her doll in the process. Erica never makes it home.

The whole town comes together to search for her, but all the Woodville locals know the story of Auntie and flat-out refuse to go up the hill where her cabin is. Daniel decides to go alone, and finds another little girl, wearing Erica’s clothes. He takes this other girl back home, and the older locals are stunned that it’s little Selene who went missing fifty years ago, not aged a bit.

Daniel’s parents meanwhile, can’t even look at this little girl, and don’t believe anyone who tells them about the conjure-woman. They don’t even believe Daniel as he starts to understand that something supernatural is happening out on that hill in the woods. That Erica was Took, just like Selene had been.

With the help of a friendly neighbor, who takes in a very scared and confused Selene, Daniel finds Auntie’s last kin. An old lady who lives on the outskirts of town with her dozens of cats. This old lady, Miss Perkins, is known as a conjure-woman as well, though not evil like Auntie. And together they devise a plan to get Erica back, help Selene, and rid the woods of Auntie and Bloody Bones.

Does the plan work? Sure it does. They get a much happier Erica back, and their parents can not deny that Erica wasn’t lost in the woods. She was, in fact, Took. Selene is being raised by the elderly neighbor couple, and she and Erica become good friends. Daniel ends up becoming friends with the neighbor boy, Brody, who tried to scare them when they first moved there with stories about Auntie and Bloody Bones.

  • This is something that I wouldn’t have batted an eye at as a kid, but as an adult it’s so illogical. The decision to move from CT to rural WV makes absolutely no sense. Yes, the real estate is cheap there, but did Daniel’s parents stop to think WHY the house was so cheap? Here’s a hint, it’s not because the woods are haunted by Auntie and Bloody Bones. It’s because there are no jobs in rural West Virginia. So when his dad is upset that he has an MBA and is working at the Home Depot…well. What did he think was going to happen? Wouldn’t it have made more sense to move more locally and just rent an apartment instead of purchasing a house?
  • The public school the kids go to is very bare-bones. And yeah, old rural schools aren’t going to have promethean boards and Chrome Books necessarily. But Daniel was talking about how even the walls were bare. No school work or art work was hanging up. His classroom has only an American Flag and a picture of George Washington. And I can go into detail about the issues facing rural education. But I swear, they can afford worksheets and coloring paper to hang on the walls in the classrooms.
  • Daniel stands out in his class because he has an accent (though to him, he’s the one without the accent) and he wears kind of preppy clothes, while all the kids are in grungy jeans and sneakers and t-shirts. At the beginning, Daniel is just mad at the kids for making fun of him. But later on in the book, he has a moment of growth when he sees that Brody’s shoes have holes in the them. “Something’s wrong with a world that lets me have waterproof boots and someone else have tennis shoes with holes in the toes.”
  • Before he gets to where he feels for the impoverished kids, he is fairly judgmental of the local dialect. When Erica starts fretting about being ‘Took,’ his response is “Took? That’s how kids in Woodville talk. Not you and me. We say ‘taken.'”
  • Overall, this is a good scary story. Anyone who liked the other MDH ghost stories is sure to like this one as well.
Posted in Mary Downing Hahn, paranormal | 1 Comment

“She would find the boy she always wanted to meet.” Or, The Luckiest Girl

This book was published in 1958. In many ways, it’s really dated, but in other ways it’s completely timeless. Honestly, I went in to this expecting to roll my eyes at the fifties-ishness of the whole thing. But I actually enjoyed reading it, because it was kind of fun to compare what was relatable and what was totally WTF about it.

Shelley Latham is sixteen years old. She’s an only child growing up in Portland, OR, and her mother is her biggest problem. Shelley’s mom had been a teacher, but obviously quit to become a housewife, but she doesn’t really have anything to focus on outside of Shelley. And she just plain doesn’t understand what it’s like to be sixteen!

The mom keeps in contact with her old college roommate (by mail, natch), Mavis, who is quirky and fun and a mom living in a small citriculture community in California. Mavis suggests Shelley come live with them for a year. It seems ridiculous at first, but Shelley’s dad thinks it would be good for her. After all, they are only going to be able to afford to send Shelley to the local State University where she will attend with a lot of her high school classmates and still live at home. He thinks a year away will be good for her.

Shelley is thrilled to go. She’d been going steady with Jack, who is a nice guy but completely boring, and Shelley didn’t know how to break things off with him. She goes to San Sebastian, CA hoping to meet a boy who isn’t dull as dishwater.

Shelley is adorably enthusiastic about everything in California. The orange grove owned by the family she lives with, their weird old house, the stucco buildings, the constant sunshine, the locals who are all suntanned and healthy looking. On her first day of school, Shelley spots a very good looking guy, and immediately wants him. His name is Philip and he’s in her bio lab class. She also meets Hartley, who is not as handsome but is very nice and is in homeroom and journalism with her.

Shelley fits in well at school, and has a lot of fun with the Michie family. She has a date with Hartley, and has a good time. But eventually Philip asks her out and it’s not long before she and Philip are An Item. Philip is super handsome, and Shelley spends a lot of time thinking about his adorable sunburned nose and blond hair, and that he’s the school basketball star. Unfortunately, he’s very shy and has little in common with Shelley, who is outgoing and gets good grades.

Still, they like each other enough that they distract each other during bio lab and for first semester Shelley ends up with a D, while Philip outright flunks the class, meaning he can’t play basketball this season. Shelley feels guilty about ‘making’ Philip get an F, and she’s sure the entire class will hate her for it. (They don’t.) But still, Philip is grounded for the next semester and isn’t allowed to take Shelley on dates.

Shelley works hard to pull up her bio grade, and meanwhile ends up going out on dates with Hartley, and has a great time. And she’s bummed she spent so much of the school year with Philip when they clearly weren’t made for each other. The book ends with the end of the school year, (A final grade of B in her bio lab) and Shelley going back to Oregon with her parents and knowing Hartley was her first love and that she’ll miss him. Sensible Shelley doesn’t have any grand ideas about trying to go to college with Hartley, just understanding he was her first love and they probably won’t see each other again.

The things that are relatable, despite being from the 1950’s:

  • Shelley’s relationship with her mother. This is very clearly based on Cleary’s own relationship with her mother, as she wrote about in her biography. Shelley is struggling for independence against a mother who is a little smothering.
  • Shelley having to hear about how things were done in ‘the old days,’ by her parents and teachers – most of whom were teenagers during the Depression. The generation gap is absolutely timeless and in just as stupid in every generation as it was in the one before it. (I could go on about how millennials are FINE despite whatever Gen X and the Boomers write about them ad nauseum, but I won’t.)
  • But, as part of growing up, Shelley learns about her mother as a person, and not just as a mom. She gets good stories of her mom from Mavis.
  • Philip suffers from the same lack of connection with his dad. His dad is pushing college on him, but Philip just isn’t studious. He’s working part-time as a tree-trimmer and honestly loves it and wants to make a career of it.
  • At Christmas, Mavis’s mother comes to visit and Shelley gets to see for herself that parents and children can continue to butt heads into adulthood, without loving each other less.
  • Shelley is anxious to get out of the city, but her friend Jeannie (who grew up in San Sebastian) is anxious to get out of her small town.  The grass is always greener, city mouse vs. country mouse, and all that.

Things that are hopelessly old-fashioned:

  • It’s an unbearably white book. Schools in 1958 were still segregated. And obviously I’m not blaming Beverly Clearly for having all white characters in this book. (In her last book, the final Ramona book written in 1999, Ramona has a black friend, so she obviously grew with the times).  It’s just really jarring to read a book like this now. I know some people look at the 50’s through rose-colored lenses, but I never do. I always associate the 50’s with the oppression of women and non-whites.
  • The Michie family does the weekly ironing together, and the whole scene I was like ‘what the fuck is happening here?’
    • “Tom lit the gas that heated the old-fashioned mangle and Mavis prepared to iron at the ironing board. “Shelley, you take the other ironing board,” directed Tom. “Katie, you and Luke feed the flat things into the mangle while I run it.”  …   Obediently, Shelley plugged in the iron and selected a sport shirt while Mavis started to iron one of Katie’s blouses. Tom operated the lever that raised the top of the mangle. “Now!” he ordered, and simultaneously he and his two children fed napkins into the mangle. This was the secret of fresh napkins at every meal. Tom brought the top down on the heated cylinder and the napkins rolled in and came out ironed……”

  • Shelley, seeing all the students with tans on the first day of school, calls herself, “a paleface among the natives.” That’s not outright offensive, but is definitely language that wouldn’t fly today.
  • Also, the words that are used to describe Philip, are now considered ‘coded gay’ words. He’s “shy and sensitive,” and “doesn’t want to waste his time on girls,” and “is closer with Friz (his male friend) than any girl,”and “pleasant and courteous but in a reserved way.” Also, he never even tries to kiss Shelley, even when they’re a known item. I’m 100% certain that Beverly Cleary’s intention was not to write a coded gay character. It’s just funny that the language she used to describe him is basically the same that was used to describe Ducky in California Diaries, because they needed to make him gay without using the word gay.
  • As a new kid, Shelley gets interviewed for the school paper, and she’s described as a “pert miss.” EWWWWW, why are you so gross, 1950’s?
  • Luke, the fifteen year old in the house she’s living in, is HUMILIATED in English class. Why? Because they were taking turns reading a story off the board and the sentence Luke had to read was, “Mother! They’ve crowned me Queen of the May.” Scandalous.
  • They had to get rid of hay at a barn-dance because the smokers (in a HIGH SCHOOL) might cause it to light on fire.
  • Shelley’s mom asks her not to “lose her head,” over Philip. Snerk. More like lose her cherry, amirite?

Despite it all. This was a really fun book to go back and re-read. It’s a charming little book, and it manages to be so charming by having a good balance of being timeless and dated.

Also, Beverly Cleary has four of these books about high school girls finding boyfriends. I don’t think they were intentionally written as a series, but they are currently being sold as a set called First Love. This one is #2, and #4 (Sister of the Bride) was reviewed on this blog by guest reviewer, Alison.  The Luckiest Girl is better than Sister of the Bride.



Posted in Beverly Cleary | 4 Comments

Not Throwing Away My Shot – History books for kids

Look, just because I’ve been incredibly negligent about keeping up with the blog, doesn’t mean I don’t have things to say. Granted, it’s been a while since I’ve read any BSC books, but I’ll try to get back into that soon.

Here’s the thing. I’m on the Hamilton bandwagon. I’m on it in a hardcore way. It’s basically the only thing my kids and I have listened to in the car since last December, so I kind of know every single word. And no, I haven’t been to NY to see it (because I’m not made of money, yo) but it is coming to the Kennedy Center, which I am a member of, so I’ll see the national tour as it comes into DC.

My kids are also crazy about it. My nine year old son has taken his love of Hamilton and turned it into an obsession with history. Which is great! However, my own knowledge of American History is….kind of lacking. I haven’t taken an American History class since I was seventeen, and while I had enough knowledge to answer the low-money questions on Jeopardy, I didn’t have nearly enough to satisfy the questions of a curious nine year old.

So we turn to books, of course. If you have a kid interested in history (or a kid you WANT to get interested in history) here’s where I suggest you look:

1- King George; What Was His Problem? and Two Miserable Presidents, both by Steve Sheinkin.

These two books are my absolute favorite of all the history books we’ve checked out. It’s written simply enough that my third (now almost fourth) grader has no problem reading them, but it’s interesting enough for adults to enjoy. Sheinkin manages to write history that is more than just a timeline of events (ahem…history book writers, take note) and dry details of battles. He uses a lot of personal sources (journals, etc) to paint a picture of the Revolutionary War and the Civil war from a human standpoint. Something Hamilton manages to convey, and probably the reason why my kid and I agree these are the best.

2 – Nathan Hale’s Hazardous Tales by Nathan Hale

Screenshot 2016-06-29 at 15.32.35

Yes, the author of this graphic novel series is really named Nathan Hale. This clever series features  Nathan Hale (the historical figure) getting sucked up into an American History book and gaining full knowledge of US History. He uses that knowledge to tell history stories to the two men who are supposed to be in charge of hanging him for treason, keeping himself alive a little longer. There are, so far, six Hazardous tales. The story of Hale himself, the story of the Civil War Ironclads, the story of Harriet Tubman, The story of WWI, the story of the Donner Party, and the story of the Alamo. My favorite is The Underground Abductor, the Harriet Tubman story. My son prefers Treaties, Trenches, Mud and Blood, the WWI story. But really, they are all funny and clever and chock-full of really good information.

3- The Who Was…? series

Screenshot 2016-06-29 at 15.47.35

This series is really far-reaching. Focusing mostly on kid-friendly biographies, there are probably hundreds of books in the series. My kid has mostly focused on historical figures – Lincoln, Washington, Grant. But you can get so much more beyond American History, this includes pop culture, authors, inventors, civil rights leaders and more. These books are very easy to read, (my nine year old has just about outgrown them) but are still worthwhile.

4 – DK Eyewitness Books

Screenshot 2016-06-29 at 15.42.04

DK Books is one of the biggest publishers of children’s non-fiction. Any parent who’s had a kid who’s gone through a ‘phase’ (dinosaur phase, space phase, train phase, history phase, bug phase, etc) has probably gotten a DK book from the library. I really enjoy their Eyewitness books, because they have a lot of pictures for the kids who are more visual. It also means my five year old who can’t read yet can enjoy at least looking at the books with his older brother.

There really isn’t a shortage of non-fiction books for kids out there. And my kid reads super fast, so I’m always on the lookout for recommendations!

Posted in Non-fiction | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 3 Comments

“Everywhere you look,” or, Fuller House

*Minor spoilers ahead*

It’s no surprise Netflix wanted to cash in on the nostalgia-fueled success of Disney Channel’s Girl Meets World. Full House was the logical choice for them, because literally NO ONE cares what Urkel or the family from Step by Step is up to now.

Look, it’s not like anyone expected this to be good. And it’s not just that it’s bad (and believe me, it’s bad) but that it’s so fucking pointless. Exercises in nostalgia are all well and good, I mean this whole blog exists on it, but it should at least be entertaining. Netflix’s own Wet Hot American Summer series showed that it could be done. The Wet Hot series worked incredibly well with the movie.

But Fuller House doesn’t really work on any level. Girl Meets World, which isn’t perfect by any means, actually works as a show separate from it’s original Boy Meets World. Wet Hot works as a companion to it’s original film. Fuller House? The references to the original are forced, and the characters, while older, haven’t grown at all. It’s disconcerting seeing Joey Gladstone doing Bullwinkle impressions, seeing Steve still eating everything in sight, and watching Danny clean compulsively.

The plot is even recycled badly from the original. This time it’s DJ (now a veterinarian) who is widowed with three boys, ages 13, 6, and a baby. So Stephanie and Kimmy move in to help her out with her kids, along with Kimmy’s thirteen year old daughter.

Look, the internet is already filled to the brim with Fuller House reviews. And they all mostly agree that the show is bad. And it is. Rather than go on an on about how unnecessary the show’s existence is, I’m going to give you specifics about what is bad (and to be fair, what is good) about the show:

The Bad

  • Kimmy’s soon-to-be ex-husband, Fernando. His whole character is so cringe-worthy because the writers seem to think people with accents are funny simply because they have accents. The studio audience actually broke into laughter when Fernando said his full name. Which I guess was funny because, I don’t know? It’s somehow hilarious to hear a guy say Fernando Arnanda Herrero Hernandez Guerrero because he’s not speaking ‘Murican? Also, he’s referred to as Latin a few times, but he’s actually from Spain, which in case you didn’t know is in Europe, not Latin America. His accent is constantly played for laughs or insults.
  • Sloppy guests stars. Macy Gray, those guys from Dancing With the Stars, and Hunter Pence are wedged in and aren’t funny. So in that way, it’s just like Full House.
  • The meta-humor is terrible. They make references to things like The View, child actors, and a few finger-wagging jokes about Michelle not being there. OK, but no one liked Michelle the first time around, so what’s the big fucking deal that Mary Kate and Ashley didn’t want to do the show? They aren’t even acting anymore. It really comes off as disrespectful to the Olsen twins to make snide remarks about their absence.
  • The audience thinks it’s HILARIOUS when one of the cast members uses their old catch phrase. News flash:  “How rude!” “Oh Mylanta.,” “Have Mercy,” are NOT jokes. There is nothing funny about those words and for god’s sake if they try to make ‘Holy Chalupas’ a thing, I will scream.
  • Let’s talk about these child actors. No, let’s just talk about Elias Harger, who plays DJ’s middle son Max. This kid can NOT act. He shouts his lines at near top volume and is constantly mugging for the camera. And for whatever reason he is the kid they’ve chosen to give most of the screen time to.
  • The appearances by Danny, Jesse, Joey and Becky don’t happen every episode and THANK GOD for that because the show drags as soon as any of them appear onscreen. Especially Joey and his stupid face and Bullwinkle impression that is….ugh. I want to punch him in his face.
  • The laugh track (or studio audience, whichever) is overly distracting and too loud. Miller, Boyett & Co. need to know it’s not the 90’s anymore, and people aren’t so into the multi-cam laugh track shtick anymore.
  • I think Jodie Sweetin must be trying to get a singing career off the ground, because they have shoe-horned her singing in nearly every episode.
  • Steve is a creeper. Total stalking weirdo. It’s not even believable that DJ would be considering dating him. Also, I’m not sure if they mentioned how long ago her husband died? Because her youngest kid looks only about eight or nine months old. Seems kind of like she’s rushing back into the whole dating thing, and getting right into a love triangle to boot.


The Not-so-bad

  • The first episode is the absolute worst. It’s unbelievably awful, which means it only goes up from there!
  • The decision to focus mainly on the three women (DJ, Stephanie and Kimmy) was a good one. Those are the strongest storylines in any given episode. And there’s actually an unexpectedly good chemistry between Kimmy (Andrea Barber) and Stephanie (Jodie Sweetin). Given their personalities, it actually makes more sense that they would be BFFs as adults than DJ and Kimmy.
  • Some of the humor is more adult than it was in the original. The adults all drink, but especially Steph who downs tequila like no one’s business and even makes reference to smoking pot and sleeping around. They also make reference to her big fake boobs. The down side to this grown-up humor is having to hear Uncle Jesse make a jizz joke.
  • The show itself is less treacly than the original. Fewer very special moments where everyone talks it out and hugs it out happily.
  • Kimmy has been toned down a notch. But not her wardrobe. Check out these rad scarves she wears: Screenshot 2016-03-02 at 11.19.08

Screenshot 2016-03-02 at 11.23.07

  • You can sometimes tell when the actors in a show/movie are having a good time filming. This is one of those cases. The cast of this show is known for being close, and you can tell they were having a blast on the set. It actually makes the awfulness of the show seem less awful somehow.
  • One thing that legit made me laugh. Stephanie works as a club DJ, and her club name? DJ Tanner. It probably isn’t as funny as I thought, but for whatever reason, I liked it.

So that’s it. Those are my thoughts. It’s not really worth watching, but I know that won’t stop many of you from being curious. In all honesty? I’d actually tune into a second season if they’d make some better choices. No Danny/Jesse/Joey cameos unless absolutely necessary, give Fernando an actual personality besides “Spanish Guy,” Actually show DJ mourning her husband, Show Stephanie trying to deal with the news of not being able to have kids for longer than the two minutes that was spent on it, Stop trying to squeeze meta-humor in, Tone down the laugh track, Get rid of Steve altogether, Lay off Max’s storylines, and lay off the unnecessary guest stars.


Posted in General nostalgia, non-book review, TV | 8 Comments