"So it’s true, you two are sneaking behind my back…or Fifteen #1 No More Little Miss Perfect

This book is the shit! Oh wait, did I say the shit. I meant this book is just shitty. And Carrie, if you are reading this, you might want to wait a few days. I’m mailing the book to you tomorrow and I wouldn’t want the superb plot be ruined for you! That would be ghastly.
For those of you who never watched Fifteen on Nickelodeon (or called Hillside to my Canadian friends), it was a teenage soap opera that followed a group of teens at Hillside High School. It was the most craptacular show to ever air on television. EVER!!!! That is not hyperbole, it’s the honest truth. I was in the used book store and came across this little gem. And even though this blog is supposed to be me rereading books from my youth, I decided to (no…I HAD to) buy this and blog it anyway. For a recap of who is who at Hillside High, take a look at Colleenn’s blog, The Big Orange Couch. There is a link to the right, under “Blogs I like better than my own.” Honestly, she does just as good a job, if not better, than I could of giving you a back story. I’d make a little linky-doo here, but I’m a self avowed computer moron.
So this book is written from three different points of view. Courtney’s, Ashley’s and Brooke’s. We start the book of with Courtney who is fretting over her missing diary. Turns out her brother Billy (played on the show by a young Ryan Reynolds) took it to find out how she seems to be handling their parent’s divorce so much better than he is. But then he felt guilty, so he didn’t read it and gave it back to her. Courtney realizes that the precious diary is just sitting there, waiting to be read by her nosy mom, so she takes it to school, where it will be safely kept in her locker that only she knows the combination to………….or does she??????
We turn to Brooke, who is the mother of all high school c-words, and she picks up Courtney’s diary after she drops it. She notices Courtney has written some less than nice things about her BFF Ashley. Nothing too bad, just about Ashley’s perfectionist tendencies. Brooke hearts Ashley’s boyfriend, Matt (the alcoholic, who hasn’t been to rehab yet in this book). So Brooke, for whatever reason, shows the diary to Ashley. Ashley is all WTF??? I thought Courtney luuuurved me. Ashley honestly had no idea she was such a goody goody. So she writes a letter to Courtney, which includes the line “I’m not what you think I am–not anymore.” Ashley decides to change her image.
She starts wearing short skirts and tight pants, and a crapload of makeup. Oh, and teasing her hair, as you can see from the cover of the book. She blows off Matt because she thinks he and Courtney are sneaking around together. Then she starts dating Dylan, Hillside High’s resident leather-jacket clad badass. Oh, did I mention that Courtney totally has a crush on Dylan! What a high school lurve triangle this is!
God, I’m boring myself just writing about this crap.
So blah blah blah. Long story short….Ashley isn’t totally comfortable with her new image. Courtney thinks she’s fat. Brooke is a bitch. Courtney gets back at Brooke. Ashley breaks up with Dylan, gets back with Matt, and goes back to her plain old boring little miss perfect self. Did we ever doubt it would be a happy ending????
*Sooo…I’m not really sure where in the series this was supposed to take place. Matt is drinking, but hasn’t been to rehab yet. Kelly is still there, but so is Arseman, and I definitely remember that their time on the show never overlapped. Starting in season Two, Kelly was mysteriously gone and Arseman was just….there. Courtney and Billy’s parents were already divorced, which I think didn’t happen until maybe halfway through the first season. Chris was there, in the band with Dylan, and Billy was already their drummer. But Arseman wasn’t their singer yet, and I guess Roxanne hadn’t showed up at this point. The band wasn’t named yet (Teenagers in Love, natch). Soooo…. my guess is that this takes place after the first season ended, but before the second began. But that doesn’t explain the presence of Chris, does it? Hmm…this is a very Baby Sitters Club-like timeline.
*I usually like the bad kids in books, because their characters are generally a little more complex. But Brooke is soooo one-dimensional. Less than that even. She’s like half-dimensional if that is at all possible. The best Brooke line though, is when she’s talking about her sister, Amanda “she’s just a drippy little frosh.”
*Ashley’s first “wild girl” outfit is a “short black mini-skirt and heels.” That is REALLY badass, I mean, the girl is not even wearing a shirt!!!!! That is hardly school appropriate. And I thought high schools girls nowadays show to much boob!
*There are lots of Avalon scenes…squeee! And it includes the pinball machine! Although no mention of how it was a completely silent pinball machine. You need to watch the show to get that.
*Brooke thinks that Dylan doesn’t like her because she’s “too uptown.” Heh.
*Courtney writes this poem for Dylan to turn into song lyrics. It is soooo blatantly obvious that the poem could be about either Dylan or Ashley. Then Courtney gets all upset when Dylan sings it to Ashley. Courtney is a fucking moron.
*Courtney’s brand new outfit (ordered from a catalog) to wear to Dylan’s concert. Light weight blue turtleneck with full sleeves and the neck that drapes into soft folds. A long flowered skirt made of two layers of sheer material and a zig-zag handkerchief hemline. Then she put on tights and tan-suede boots. Then she worries that the outfit makes her look fat, so she untucks the turtleneck from the skirt. I dunno, long flowered skirts just don’t scream “tuck a shirt into me!” in my mind. And what is a handkerchief hemline?
*In real life, the guy who played Dylan is pretty yummy.
*There are a few great pop-culture references in this book. REM and Luke Perry are mentioned. I like that. I don’t know why, I just do.
*Courtney goes on a bacon and grapefruit diet. I’ve never heard of such a thing. Have I mentioned that Courtney is a fucking moron?
*Someone was selling all six books from this series on eBay. I was watching it on “My eBay,” but then I read this first book and decided against getting the others. Even though they were only $0.99. Not worth it!
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About nikkihb

Wife. Mother. Reader. Blogger.
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3 Responses to "So it’s true, you two are sneaking behind my back…or Fifteen #1 No More Little Miss Perfect

  1. zanne says:

    I LOVED "Fifteen"!! I thought it was the best, but also the crappiest, show! My brother & I used to watch it and made fun of it. Wow, I almost forgot all about Arseman! Brooke was the bitchiest character on tv. I hated her. One of my favorite scenes was when someone was yelling at Brooke about how mean she was and she said "I have friends!" The girl goes, "OK, name 10." (waits like 1/2 a second) "Ok, name ONE!" I THINK that is what happened, but this was a LONG time ago! Maybe Brooke said that to someone else? I can't remember. Someone on the show said "Stuff a sock in it" and my brother & I used to say that. haha! Oh wow, I want to watch this show now!

  2. colleenn says:

    yay! You recapped the Fifteen book! I think there must be something wrong with me, seeing as your reading book 1 caused you to not want to buy the others, but my reading your recap of book 1 made me want the entire set. 🙂 I think I have a high tolerance for horrible books/tv.I love how Courtney’s horrible fashion sense seems to have carried over into the books. At least they’re consistent I guess. And yes, Dylan was definitely cute in real life. And thank you for the plug, even though I don’t think I by any means did a better job than you did. 🙂 I feel like I’ve been scrambling to find time for my recaps lately and that they all come out rushed and considerably less entertaining because of that.

  3. Sada says:

    Mother of crap, how I loved Fifteen! They had, hands down, the worst fight scenes that have ever been filmed (Matt vs. Jake anyone?). And they said “lousy” all the time. And Courtney had the wardrobe of a Hasidic Jew. Oh MAN. I keep hoping against hope that it will come out on DVD!

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