"In Luevulle. Ah’ve haid plainy of expuryence"…..or Logan Likes Mary Anne! (BSC #10)

***Thanks to Dibby Fresh for the image, and all links to other images!

Here it is folks, my number one favorite BSC book of all time. Logan Likes Mary Anne! And don’t you forget that exclamation point! It’s as important as the ellipse in Forever……

The cover? One of the better BSC covers. Hodges Soileau did A-OK on this one, though he generally did do a better job on the early BSC. Mary Anne and Logan do look a little older than 13 (though MA is still technically 12 during this scene), but they only look about 15 or 16, which beats the fuck out of twenty eight year old Jessi on the cover of Jessi and the Superbrat. Not to mention Jackie Rodowsky kind of actually looks like a cute kid (though I am partial to gingers!)

We all know the synopsis now don’t we? The girls start eighth grade (for the first time). They do some BSC advertising and find themselves with too much work. The dreamy new boy in town, Logan Bruno, volunteers himself as a babysitter. And he and Mary Anne fall in looooove. They go to a dance and then they are boyfriend/girlfriend for the next twenty years of eighth grade. Mary Anne runs out of her birthday party because she hates to be the center of attention, but Logie-pie still loves her. In the end Logan joins the club as an associate member, someone who doesn’t go to meetings, but can take jobs when no one else is available. Also, Mary Anne gets Tigger.

Now it is shameful confession time here at Are You There Youth? It’s Me, Nikki. I have a little crush on Richard Spier (*hangs head in shame*). I’m telling you, he doesn’t really look like Hodges Soileau made him look on the cover of Dawn’s Family Feud. I picture him as the dad in Pump Up the Volume. Not bad looking for a dorky dad. And this is a great Richard book. Why do I love Richard Spier so? Well, here’s a list:

• He gets sympathy votes for having a dead wife and raising a daughter on his own. I mean, duh, that’s just a given.
• He’s a good dad and good dads are sexxxxy. He takes Mary Anne shopping for her first bra, which is like the last thing any dad really wants to do with his thirteen year old daughter.
• He let her get Tigger, and admits that he should have let her have a pet earlier.
• He gave Mary Anne his credit card so she could go shopping….for the famous cities skirt.
• Also, he manages to bag Dawn’s mom later. So he can’t be terrible looking.

But besides my sick (though I’d just say unconventional) love of Richard Spier, this books rocks for so many other reasons.

• The most rockingest thing about this book is, of course, The Famous Cities skirt! You know it, you love it, you probably wanted it when you read about it. Another shameful confession is that I still fucking want that skirt. In Ann M.’s own words (and they are hers, as this was pre-ghostwriter pre-Lerangis BSC) “a full white skirt with the words Paris, Rome and London, and sketchy pink and blue pictures of the Eiffel Tower, the Tower Bridge, and other stuff scrawled over it…matched up with a pink shirt and a baggy pink sweater.” Then the shoes! “white slip-ons with pink and blue edging that matched the pink and blue in the skirt.” Um….WANT!
• The introduction of Logan to this series brought many wonderful things. Not the least of which is the fact that accents are written phonetically. So Logan’s ‘well’ is written ‘way-ull.’ That is some fantasmic writing there. (On a side note, my son has started speaking with a strange southern accent. He says milk ‘may-ulk.’ And because I’m a dork, my first thought was naturally that he must be mine and Logan Bruno’s love child.)
• Remember when Claudia almost said bra strap in front of a boy???? Yep, that was this book. Tres embarrassing! If bras are so embarrassing to boys, what was Pete Black doing snapping the strap of Dorianne Wallingford’s?
• Mary Anne spends the book squee-ing over uber movie star Cam Geary. I always pictured Jonthan Landis as Cam Geary for some reason. I didn’t even find Jonathan Landis good looking, but I thought he was someone Mary Anne would find good looking. I have heard other say the pictured Mark-Paul Gosselar or Jonathan Taylor Thomas.
• When the girls start 8th grade, Mary Anne says, “starting eighth grade seems like a breeze to me.” Good thing sweetheart, because you’ll start it several more times in the next….oh… fifteen years or so.
• We are introduced to the Rodowskys in this book. And Mary Anne tells us that Mariel Rodowsky was wearing jeans and a jean jacket and”didn’t look like most mothers I know.” That’s right. Because all us moms wear poofy skirts and heels while we vacuum the carpets. And we cook a big healthy meal every night and when our hubbies get home from work, we’re there to greet him with a nice brandy and blowjob with a big smile on our faces. I get it that Mary Anne didn’t have a mother, but she fucking knows mothers. Do none of them really wear jeans?
• Did I just make a blowjob reference while reviewing a BSC book? I feel so dirty all of a sudden. Sorry Ann M! I’ll pretend blowjobs don’t exist from now on while reading and reviewing your books!
• Claudia has a stupid babysitting job for Gabbie Perkins. They have to pick Myriah up (from where? Why her Theater class at the community center of course!) and they decide to take Chewy. Can I explain something without seeming like one of those moms who only talks about her kids? (Because I could! I could talk about that kid the whole damn day and not get bored!) Anyway, my son is 2 1/2. The same age as Gabbie Perkins. When I have to take the dog for a walk with him, it is still imperative that Grady go into a stroller. In fact, that’s the only reason we still use a stroller. And my dog is a very very passive seven year old medium-sized dog. BUT we all know that the Perkins girls are fucking prodigies at every fucking thing. My son on the other hand is NOT a prodigy, but does go around asking people if they are a boy or a girl. Then when you answer (let’s say you say girl) he asks “Do you pee from your wagina?” If you say you’re a boy, he asks “Do you pee from your penit?” I’m so proud of my non-prodigy kid! The whole Perkins family can go suck it for all I care.
• I can’t forget to mention Alan Gray and his Little Orphan Annie Eyes! The whole Little Orphan Annie thing made no sense to me as a kid, because I thought Annie was only a movie. It was much later that I found out it was a comic first and Annie did have very blank M&M-ish looking eyes. This is just another example of these kids knowing about pop culture that is waaay to old for them (I Love Lucy anyone?)
• Don’t forget to enter my contest to win Maniac Magee! I swear it’s 1,000,000,000 times better than this book! You know you want it.