People think I’m a grammar stickler, but really I’m not. I notice grammatical errors, but I very rarely point them out. If you spend any amount of time on Facebook, chances are that you, too, come across more grammatical errors than you can count. And normally, that’s OK. I want Facebook to be a friendly place so badly, and I genuinely don’t care if someone fails to use apostrophes in their status update about their kids’ soccer games. Usually, I’m just happy to know someone’s kid won a soccer game.
But if you’re going to use Facebook to be a dick? I will be all over your poor grammar – like a fly on shit. If you’re going to go on a rant about how the eebil homosecshuals are taking over the world with their big homosecshual agenda, or you are choosing to use your Facebook time to let everyone know of your very righteous indignation over the Satanic Atheist Muslims (and, I seriously don’t know if there should be commas there. Like, are we talking about Satanists AND Atheists AND Muslims? Or do people actually think it’s possible for one person to be a Satanic Atheist Muslim?) trying to destroy a righteous Christian business like Chick-Fil-A, and you fail to use proper grammar and punctuation? As I said before – like a fly on shit.
Then when I call someone out on their grammar (usually also calling out their moronic ideals), I inevitably will get back a comment like this, “LOL I didnt know this was english class”
So listen up, English teachers of the world! You have students who actually believe that you’re teaching them grammar, not to use in the real world, but to be used exclusively while in your classes. Amazing, right? Can you imagine someone making a mistake in arithmetic while balancing their checkbook, then bouncing checks and then saying to the bank, “LOL I didnt know this was math class!”
Arithmetic has a place in the real world, and so does grammar. Proper grammar and punctuation are nothing more than an agreed-upon set of rules used to make communications easier. You don’t think commas matter ? Take a look at this:
Here’s the thing. I’ll usually be able to grasp the meaning of your status update/rant. But if you truly think you have a good point to make, and you use awful grammar and punctuation while attempting to make that point, the only point you’re really making is that you are stupid and lazy. And if you had used better grammar, maybe I would have been more convinced on your points about the Gay Satantic Atheist Muslims. (OK, maybe not. But still.)
And I’m not perfect. Far from it. Most of the time I use Facebook, I’m on my phone, which isn’t exactly conducive to proofreading my updates or comments. But I’m not talking about typos or simple misspellings. I’m talking about really awful grammar.
So, if you don’t want me to call you out on your bad Facebook grammar, you can do one of two things?
1. Use better grammar; and
2. Don’t be a dick.
*My kid is about to wake up from a nap, which means I am going to hit the publish button without proofreading. Which means, I have no doubt made several embarrassing mistakes in the above post. For that, I deeply apologize. Also, feel free to call me out over them in the comments section.