My mom died early this morning.

And here’s the thing about my mom: She’s basically the best mom ever. I know, most people who have good moms will say the same thing about their mothers. But the difference between their moms and my moms, is that she really was the best. But when you talk about your mom being the best mom ever, it just sounds like words and her greatness as a mom was more a feeling than something I can spell out.

As you get older, you start to realize that your parents aren’t just parents, they’re people too (crazy, right?) And the older I get, the more I realize that my mom wasn’t just a good mom, she was a good person.

And she was a person with her own little quirks. I never ever want to forget the little things that made her Sandy.

Things I want to remember about mom:

1.            Her weird talent for finding four-leaf clovers.  If you turned her loose in the backyard, within two minutes, she’d have a minimum of five four-leaf clovers. And she didn’t like to throw them away, so during the summers our window sills were littered with drying clovers.

2.            Her terrible sense of direction. She could not figure out how to get from point A to point B unless it was in a straight line. The Capital Beltway confounded her until the day she died.

3.            When music is playing over a loudspeaker in public, she loved to sing along, even if it was muzak. And, if the song called for it, she would also dance.

4.            She learned to use the computer five years ago because my brother took a job as a defense contractor overseas. Before that, I don’t think she’d ever shown an interest. She was only going to use email at first, but eventually was shopping online like a pro, and even on Facebook!

5.            She could waggle one eyebrow.

6.            She could do a mean Donald Duck voice.

7.            She loved medical shows so much, and watched so often that she was convinced she could do an emergency tracheotomy if needed.

8.            Her closest friends were the women she became friends with in grade school. She died at the young age of sixty four, and her best friend had been her best friend since they were, like, eight years old.

9.            The slippers she always wore around the house. I can still hear the sound of her walking around the kitchen in our old house.


In all honesty, there are about a million more things, but this is all I could come up with now.

It’s only been a day, but already I miss her so much. I’m trying to take comfort in the fact that I’m sure she knew how much she was loved when she died.


About nikkihb

Wife. Mother. Reader. Blogger.
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26 Responses to She

  1. Krys says:

    I’m so, so sorry.

    And your mom sounds amazing.

  2. ~*April*~ says:

    I am so sorry to hear of your mother’s passing. My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

  3. Eb says:

    I’m so sorry. You and your family are in my thoughts.

  4. Alicia says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. I know they’re just words, but I really am sorry. I know what you mean about parents being people, too. I can only imagine the pain you’re in right now – and I do that more than I’d like to (I have OCD – the morbid/obsessive thoughts, not the obsessive hand-washing). I don’t really know what to say, other than “I’m sorry.” Cancer is a fucking asshole and needs to go DIAF already. Massive hugs to you!

    On a totally different note, is your website snowing??

  5. Amy says:

    Oh my goodness, I am so sorry. What a wonderful-sounding woman and how lucky you are to have such lovely memories of her both big and small. Sending you the warmest of thoughts.

  6. JennyB says:

    She took road signage seriously. If a sign indicated that the bridge may freeze before the road, even if it was July, the van filled with kids would never fail to delight in her finding the “ice” and intentionally weaving. Every time.

  7. Christina says:

    So sorry to hear about your loss, and thanks for the notes on your Mom. She sounds like a great person.

  8. Annie says:

    I’m so very, very sorry for your loss. There are no words I can I say to ease your pain, but please know your cyber friends are hurting for you, too. May God give you peace.

  9. Jan Reynolds says:

    I am sorry. I went to school with Sandy too, but, over the years we lose track of each other. She sounds like a fun and loving person and someone I would have loved to be close friends with. I ran into her in Walmart about a year ago and we talked like it was 1966. My heart goes out to all of your family. Jan (Ramsburg) Reynolds

  10. I am so sorry to hear about your mother. What a loving tribute. You will be in my thoughts.

  11. Erin says:

    I’m so sorry about your mother. She sounds like an amazing woman.

  12. Jennifer says:

    Hi. You don’t know me, I found my way to this because a Facebook friend commented on your fb post, but I feel compelled to write. I lost my mom 9 years ago to cancer and I can tell you that the missing her horribly never ends- it eases yes, ends never. But I wouldn’t have I any other way. I miss my mom daily and sometimes find myself struggling to remember some of the little things- things like you wrote about. I love what you wrote about your mom because those are the things that made her “her”. I wish I had the foresight to do the same. Keep writing everything you remember about her, every memory and cherish them. My sincerest sympathy is with you. xoxo

  13. Battlekitten says:

    I’m so sorry for your loss. This is beautiful tribute.

  14. Nikki, I am so sorry for your loss. She sounds like a wonderful woman. Hugs and love.

  15. alliefoell says:

    Today marks 4 years since my mom passed away and I know exactly how you feel. However, I think you’ve done a great job in capturing even the smallest essence of who your mom was.

  16. Leigh says:

    I can’t even begin to imagine how awful this must be for you. Your mother sounds like a wonderful person. I’m so sorry.

    Beautiful post.

  17. Patsy Boisture says:

    Chuck and I want you to know how sorry we are that Sandy’s life was cut so short. Nikki, your Mom lives on in the legacy of her amazing 5 kids. Her ability to love others and make each one feel special was her gift to us. We’re here for you if you need us. Love, Patsy and Chuck

  18. Stephanie says:

    I’m so sorry. Your mom sounds like she was a wonderful person- she must’ve been, in order to raise an amazing, funny, snarky daughter. You’re in my thoughts.

  19. bookworm says:

    Nikki, I remember the story you shared about your caricature and your mom telling him off because he didn’t think reading was a “proper” hobby. I thought she was awesome then, and these quirks you shared today reinforced that impression. I’m sorry for your loss. It helped me when my stepdad died to remember the words of Albus Dumbledore, that the ones we love never truly leave us. Thinking of you today.

  20. Kristen says:

    This was a fitting tribute to your mom she sounds like an awesome woman. I can’t even imagine what you are going through. I will be praying for you and your family.

  21. I’ve never commented here before but as a person who’s been through this, I just wanted to send you a cyber-squeeze and wish you some peace and strength in equal measure. Your mom sounds 100% amazing and I’m glad you had her in your life.

  22. I’m sorry you lost your mom, and your babies lost their grandmommy. Wishing you love and support for this sad Christmas.

  23. Sorry to hear about your mom. (I am with her on the emergency tracheotomy thing!)

  24. HalliRose says:

    I’m really sorry for your loss. I hope you pull through with the love and support from your friends and family. Thanks also for sharing this with your readers, I hope we can support you somehow too!

  25. Toni Morris says:

    My first day as a blog follower. I can’t say I read much as a child but loved your post on the Brady’s, so here I am. I know your sister Sabrina and reading your tribute to your mother inspires me to work harder at creating special memories for my children. Thank You and Thanks Sandy!

  26. Nikki G. says:

    So sorry for your loss. Weird coincidence: My name is also Nikki, and my mom was named Sandra aka sometimes Sandy,

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